Sis, when I was working out the other day, my left knee started to bother me like it always does. I immediately thought, softball. Softball beat my body up and left me at 28 with wrist that hurt when it’s cold and a left knee that continually bothers me as I’m doing these jumping jacks. I pondered on softball for a minute, because that’s what I do. I’m a thinker sis. It can be a good thing, but the enemy can use it against me often times. We will go into that in the next blog. I began to think about my relationship with softball. How I would do anything for it. I chose a trip to Colorado over a quincenera. I spent countless hours at the fields. I spent pretty much all my birthdays playing. I loved it with everything in me. It was who I was. Sis, the sport gave me identity. I was half way decent too. No one cared about how I looked. No one made fun of me. Every one just saw my talent. I was hooked. Side note- I was made fun of a lot growing up (big head, big lips, raspy voice, tomboy, 5 head) Softball wasn’t like that sis. It wasn’t about looks, it was about whether you were good or not and I was all in.
Sis, the relationship started back when I was 4,I believe. Whenever you can play T-ball, I was there. The relationship carried on until I was 21 or 22. That’s 17 years. 17 years. 17 years. 17 years. LIKE WHAT? 17 years of my life went to softball. By the end of my run, I was over it. I was ready to part ways, but I had to finish my 4th year of eligibility for college.
My relationship with softball was complicated from the jump. I loved it so much and hated it so much at the same time. Softball showed my strengths and my weaknesses. I was exposed to crowds all the time. Sis, I never focused on my strengths. I always focused on my weaknesses and I think that’s what drained me by 21. I had found my identity in a sport that would eventually end. I stated time after time, softball was who I was, but I’m not a bat, glove, or ball. I’m Brittany.
No one had to criticize my game, because I was the best at telling myself I wasn’t good enough. Now don’t get me wrong, softball gave me some of the best years of my life, but Sis it wasn’t my life. Do I believe God used softball to get me through college? YES. Do I believe I needed softball to develop me as a person? YES. Most of all, I know how to give my all to something. I poured everything on the field. It’s not a cliché. It’s what we are told to do and if you are one of those players and you are reading this, keep on keeping on. I give thanks for softball, because it taught me so much. I was once passionate about softball and my passion has transitioned to the Father. I pour out to God continually. I give him all I am, because I was in a relationship for 17 years that trained me to pour out. I still get to shout, but now I shout Hallelujah! Praise God! God, I love you! I’ve been trained to work and not stop until the job is done. I’m working for the kingdom now and I will not stop until God has fulfilled all He needs to in my life.
Softball taught me that I can’t give up. No matter the strike outs. No matter the ground balls that go right under your legs. No matter the pitch you thought was a ball, but the umpire called it a strike. No matter if our team was losing every game. No matter if a girl is yelling from the dugout that I suck. I had to keep showing up. Every game was a new game. I’m so thankful. No matter how crazy I seem to people concerning my love for the Lord, Sis, I’m not giving up. I have found me, and softball led me right to Him.
My eyes water, because God said all the amazing plays you made, you’re making them right now. Every time you pray for someone. Every time you encourage someone. Every time you show up to church. Every time you share me with others.
You’re doing it.
Sis, I’m not sure if I can still field a ground ball or much less swing a bat, and I haven’t tried in a long time. One thing I do know is, God is my coach now and I’m ready to play. You may not understand a lick of what I’m saying, but take this with you sis. When I stopped playing, I thought I was over. Like what else could I possibly be good at? It was that question right there that led me to the life I’m living. I found out I love God A LOT. Sometimes the things we can’t see our lives without are the very things that are leading us to greatness.
Stop focusing on what you can’t do and start thanking God for what you can do!