IMG_5802Sis. Let’s cut straight to the point, friendship can be difficult. It’s like I’m smiling at you, but deep down I’m hurting, and I’m too scared to tell you. I’m afraid I might lose you as a friend. And let’s be real I don’t have that many so I guess I’ll just smile and pretend all is well. That’s what I did for years with my sister in Christ. I didn’t know how to vocalize what I needed as a friend. I didn’t know how to tell her I felt like some of the things she was doing in her life was making me uncomfortable. She had a beautiful heart, but I felt myself distancing from her, because I was dry in the relationship. Secret #1- friendship is a two-way street. Secret #2- selfishness cannot reside in a Godly friendship. 4 years ago I walked away from a friendship that meant a lot to me. 6 months passed and I remember meeting her for dinner flooded with emotion. I made it up in my mind I wouldn’t go back into the friendship until she knew exactly how I felt. I laid my heart out at that sushi bar and I said I’m willing to work towards this friendship, but know that it will take time. Today, she’s one of my biggest supporters and we truly have the Godly friendship I’ve always desired. She hears me and I hear her.

Sis, false friends are worse than open enemies…

I heard a pastor say, “people will come into your life just to forfeit what God is trying to do for you.” Secret #3- not every who says they are for you is for you. Sis, it’s a shame to say that some get close to you just so they can make sure you’re not doing better than them. They get close to you so you’ll share about your life to ultimately use it against you. My friend said it best, you have to observe people. Vibe them. Make an assessment. The Bible says you know them by their fruit. If they say they are lemons and all you see is rotten apples, well come on somebody. If it talks like a duck, quacks like a duck…need I say more? My friend also said a lot of things in life are predictable, and people aren’t one of them. Know who you are letting into your life.

Iron sharpens iron…

Sis, it’s important to have the discernment to know whether you’re pouring out more than you are receiving. Secret #4- Friendship is key part to our growth in Christ, our growth as a person and helping others grow. When a knife is unsharpened it is useless. It is only when a knife is sharpened that we can use it to its full potential. The same goes with friendships sis. “Unsharpened” friendships are often draining and not genuine. When you need them, they are no where to be found. Sis, I’ve found that true friendship is when you have that can challenge you, correct you, encourage you and build you to be the person God intended you to be. (Two-way street). 

Friends sharpen friends…

The only way to know how to sharpen your friend is to know them. Jonathan makes a great friend, because he listens. I’m working on listening. Listening to my friends’ needs. Listening to their heart. I have found that people are most vulnerable when they feel safe around you. I told you this stuff wasn’t easy. I’m 28 years old, and I’m barely figuring friendship out. Secret #5- Friendships serve a purpose in the kingdom. I’m learning I don’t want to do  life alone. I prayed for God to bring people in my life who would sharpen me. People who would hold me accountable. Of course being challenged isn’t always the easiest. Being told the truth isn’t always the easiest. But shout out to the people who have invested in me. Yall are the real MVPS.


Cheers to the Friendstry…



His Beloved

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