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The day I opened up about my past porn addiction my mom called and was balling her eyes out. I immediately closed my eyes and said, “She read my blog.” After her tears flowed for 2 minutes, which by the way felt like the longest 2 minutes of my life, she stated she didn’t know where she went wrong with raising me as a child. I firmly stated this had NOTHING to do with what she did or didn’t do. This was my story and I apologized that the pages were a little filthy.

Porn seems to be only categorized as a male problem and while researching men do have higher numbers, but women also have a percentage as well. 1 in 6 women are struggling with a porn addiction. Sis, that’s mind blowing. I think about the body of Christ and I sense a need for freedom. Coming out about my porn addiction to Jonathan was embarrassing and I talked real fast so maybe he wouldn’t catch it. I had quit watching porn before I met Jonathan, but I needed him to know ALL of my story. I do minister the gospel and sometimes God has me share intimate things about my life and I don’t ever want to say something and it be a shock to Jonathan when he hears it. This brings me to my 5 ways to reach freedom- Here, pull up a seat, let’s talk..

1.Open Up To Someone You Trust.

  • When I was going to a bible study in college we went out to eat afterwards. I was talking with a friend of mine and she began to share her story. As she was talking, I started getting hot and uncomfortable and not in a turned on way. I was uncomfortable, because her story was my story. Every piece of it. She spoke about her battle with porn and how it started at a young age. I just listened and thanked her for sharing. I knew in that moment God had placed  her in my life to open up about my struggle. The Bible says if we confess our faults to one another, He is faithful and just to forgive us. The next day, I texted her. I told her my story and I said I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was exhausted and needed help. She prayed for me and gave me Godly counsel. This was the beginning to reaching my freedom.

2. Stop Provoking Yourself. 

  • Sis, quit watching the movies that you “feel” are appropriate, but you know this movie consist of a sex scene. You may be able to sit through the movie and be cool, but best believe once it’s just you alone in your bed, your mind trickles back to that scene and now you want more. Quit looking at pictures on Instagram that heighten you wanting to be with someone. Don’t tease yourself. You’ll end up wanting more. You’ll end up typing in your phone or laptop…www. porn…. or whatever your preference is. Porn is porn. Whether your looking at naked girls or naked men, quit putting yourself in a position to fail. Porn isn’t something you can overcome by yourself. Trust me, I’ve tried.

3. You Are Not Alone. 

  • You’re never alone in any situation. You’re not alone in this habit either. Most people will never speak about it, but God has chosen for me to put my stuff out there. Is it uncomfortable to still talk about it…yes. It is what it is at the end of the day. No matter how good you “think” someone has it, we are all struggling with something. Low self-esteem. Inadequacy. Jealousy. Hate. Bitterness. Resentment. The list goes on. You’re not alone sis. There are women battling all over the world. In your city. In your church. Don’t let the enemy trick you into thinking you’re the only one who is up at midnight watching porn. Don’t let the enemy trick you into thinking you’ll never be able to stop. You’ll never be free. You’ll never find peace. You’ll never be more than who you are. It’s a lie. It’s a scheme. A tactic to take you out. To move you out of position. This is your story and please don’t think you’re alone in your stuff. You’re not. There is a body of Christ…a sisterhood… who will hold your arms up and help you throughout your process of freedom.

4. The Word Of God Is Sharper Than Any Two-Edged Sword.

  • Cut what needs to be destroyed in your life. You have the power and it’s all in your words. Feed yourself the Word of God. God says, “resist the enemy and he will flee.” Resist temptation. Resist lust. Resist fornication. Resist it and it will go away. Equip yourself. The beauty of this fight is it’s not in the flesh. This is a spiritual thing. You must put your gloves on and every jab, you’re saying a scripture. You’re letting the enemy know, that all things are possible with the Father. You’re letting him know that this battle is not yours, but the Lords. You’re telling him that you are more than a conqueror. You’re telling him that you’re are overcomer by the blood of the lamb and the word of your testimony. You’re are letting him know that whom the Son sets free is free indeed. You’re telling him that he has no power, but Jesus has conquered the grave. Jab. Jab. Jab. Upper cut. Canelo that enemy and get your victory.

5. There Is Beauty In Being The Authentic You.

  • The best decision I ever made was telling God the truth. The second best decision was telling myself the truth. The truth about who I was, but not stopping there. It’s one thing to tell yourself “this is who I am,” but if I could challenge you to take it a step further and realize YOU DON’T HAVE TO STAY THERE. There’s more. There’s more to you. There’s better. There’s a better version of you and it doesn’t involve porn. It doesn’t involve self gratification. I was yearning for this Brittany I knew existed, but I couldn’t find her because I was under so much sin and hurt. Porn was an outlet for me. An escape if you will. I acknowledged one day who I was, the ugly parts. What I like to call “the nasty girl.” I reference like that, because that’s how I preach it to be honest. I was nasty. It sounds cochina to say out loud and even to read, but I come to make the enemy. out. of. a. like. I ain’t playin no games with him and neither should you. I told God who life created me to be and recognized my choices were not the best, but I take full responsibility, and I was ready to move forward. I was serious this time. Me and God had this speech multiple times, but sis I was tired. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. Truth is powerful. Lies hurt. They hurt people. They hurt you. Just be you sis. The best version. Porn has stayed long enough, let it go.

6. Psalm 51, A Cry From Your Heart.

  • “Lord, have mercy upon me according to your loving-kindness: according unto the multitude of your tender mercies blot out my transgressions.” Repent sis. Ask God for forgiveness. He said if we confess our faults to one another, He is faithful and just to forgive us. True repentance is saying God forgive me, and turning away from that thing. You’re saying God I won’t go back. Read Psalm 51 every day. David wrote this Psalm, because he had acknowledged his fault in sleeping with a married woman and killing her husband to cover it up. There’s no sin that God can not blot out. The blood was shed for our sins. Yes, on the cross Jesus bore our sins. A man who knew no sin thought about me. Thought about my porn addiction and said she’s worth dying for. One day, she will understand why I shed my blood … so she may experience a life of freedom. Sis…ask for forgiveness and turn away from it. Exit out of the screen. Delete your history. Hold yourself accountable. Ask for God’s strength. With God all things are possible.

7. Hold Your Head Up High.

  • You’re a King’s kid. Don’t you dare walk with your head held down. Don’t walk in shame. There is no condemnation to them that love God. There’s no condemnation in the Father. All is well sis. All is well with your soul. One day you will look back and you will smile. Keep your eyes fixed on the author and finisher of your faith. The perfecter of that which concerns you. Freedom comes with a price, but thankfully Jesus paid it in full. Dust yourself off sis and keep movin’. Darkness trembles at the sight of light. You’re carrying the light of Christ. Let it shine so that men might see God’s good works through you.

Love,

His Beloved

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