” Wait on me.” “What will your response be in the waiting?” That’s what the Lord spoke to me after weeping before Him concerning some things in my life. I had to come to an understanding that to know God is to know the ways of God. The same God who created the garden also created the wilderness. I knew there would be times of trial and pressure and that my faith would be tested, but I thought 2018 was my year? Not the year of a wilderness experience. The good news is the God of grace will meet us even in the wilderness.

I had my slingshot and 5 stones ready to go. I fought in prayer like I had never done before. I embraced breaking my alabaster box of oil at his feet and washing them with my hair. I found a new war cry on the inside for myself and my family. I found a confidence in the Lord that anxiety tried to take from me. I am finally okay with others not enjoying me nor the way I live my life. 2018 wasn’t what I anticipated it to be, but a warrior was birthed. A “slay like David” mentality was instilled.

This is a spiritual battle and 2018 was my year to step into the ring. Somedays it felt like I was alone. Somedays it felt like no one saw I was struggling. Somedays no one asked how I was doing. But in the midst of it all, God showed up. He has been ring side.EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

What was my response in the wilderness? I was challenged to wait on the Lord, find God’s peace and joy in the midst of trouble, and through it all I have matured in my walk with Christ. The main take away from this year is, I have power even in the wilderness places. While I was there, I went ahead and slayed like David.

Here are 18 things I’ve learned in 2018.

  1. Dynamics of relationships change. Be at peace with it.
  2. The enemy is truly out to steal, kill, and to destroy.
  3. How to fight for my marriage.
  4. You don’t lose power in wilderness places.
  5. I’m different, and I’m learning to be okay with that.
  6. Anxiety is a thief of life, but God.
  7. I am who I am, and well that’s all I have to say about that.
  8. The strength my Grandma Mae possessed… there’s no way I won’t come out on top. Miss her every day.
  9. Preaching is what I will do for the rest of my life.
  10. I wouldn’t have made it out of 2018 without God and Jonathan. Real Talk.
  11. I can do it.
  12. There’s more than just one “yes” when it comes to doing the will of God.
  13. I really really really like Target, and I will always always always find what I am looking for.
  14. Laundry is easier said than done.
  15. Haters still exist.
  16. Ministry continues to come first in my life.
  17. Puppies are cute until they poop on your shaggy carpet.
  18. Last but not least let me say this here while I have you… I have learned that sometimes life doesn’t go the way you envision it to go. That people will be insensitive, because maybe they don’t understand the will of God. I’m still powerful whether or not I become a mother. Do I believe God will grant me the desires of my heart? Yes! However, I’ve learned my womb doesn’t define me. I am because He is.

I’ve changed because of 2018. I’m thankful. Incredibly thankful. My expectations for 2019 are just as high if not higher than they were for 2018. No matter what happens, I will yet praise. I will hold the hand of the Father and the hand of my husband, knowing all is well.

I’ll see you in 2019 sis. I’m praying for you. While your waiting for the clock to strike 12, go ahead and praise Him. Not for what He will do for you in 2019, but simply for who He is.

Love,

His Beloved

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