I’m one of those people who starts something, but doesn’t finish it. When Jeremiah came…this wasn’t going away. He was present 24/7. All day. Every day. I would go to the bathroom, I could hear him cry. I’d be asleep and I’d see him in my dreams. He wasn’t something I could stop. He was constant and I had to learn to adapt to running the race of Mamahood ….slow and steady.
I was eating breakfast and Jonathan was sitting on the recliner…there was silence. I looked at Jonathan and said, “for the first time in 6 months, we didn’t rock Jeremiah to sleep.” Our eyes both watered, he put his head down and said, “it’s bittersweet.” Nothing could have prepared me for this journey. The up’s. The down’s. The tears. The laughs. Great is God’s faithfulness towards me and my crew. God has carried us in the midst of some of the toughest times of our marriage and parenthood. This post is to give you a look into what I’ve learned from Motherhood.
Let me say this before we get going…this is what I’ve learned over the course of 6 months…If you feel differently…that’s fair! Remember this is my view and what I’ve picked up over time.
Motherhood is a competitive hood and I don’t really care what anyone says. Comparison is what we do by nature. Can your baby do this? My baby can do this! I saw her baby and he/she was already doing this. Your baby should be holding the bottle by himself already. It’s a constant feeling of never amounting up to this “baby” and “mom”! It’s exhausting. There are so many blogs and so many filtered pictures that portray an image of perfection. I’ve learned that God created every person different. There’s not one person that is the same. Therefore, I can’t compare my child to yours nor should I feel I’m in competition with your child, because my child was stitched and wired differently….ON PURPOSE and FOR PURPOSE. My child was made in the likeness of God and we live for an audience of ONE. I pray that when you see us through pictures and videos, you never feel intimidated but rather encouraged that you can be a mama or just to simply keep going and doing your best!
2.Leave Pinterest Alone
The nursery should NOT be stressed over. Do what you can with what you have. Don’t break the bank, because you saw something on Pinterest or you’re doing that comparison thing and you go out of budget to keep up with the Baby Joneses. I rushed my nursery because everyone said do you have this do you have that…blah blah blah…so I just bought everything in a rush…rather than taking my time and realizing the baby wasn’t even going to use the nursery for a while. LOL. 6 months to be exact. (I am redecorating the nursery, because now my mind is clear and I know what I want and I want a room that represents Jeremiah!) Don’t be so hard on yourself…we didn’t have it in the budget for the nursery and God supplied everything! He really did! We had no idea how we were going to fill that room and now when I look around, I’m thankful.
3. He Will Supply Your Needs
God will supply EVERY need! Jonathan and I have been in a place where we had no idea how God was going to make a way for us and He did it every time. When it came to formula, clothes, crib, toys, food, etc..I just saw God’s faithfulness and hand in the midst of it all. Even taking maternity leave with no pay, we received a check in the mail… they approved my short term disability! The desire of child care came through when I had to go back to work. The stroller and car seat was an answered prayer when we received a text saying, “pick which one you’d like, and I’ll pay.” It’s a proven fact that everything we have needed, God has supplied it with overflow.
4. Pray For Your Pediatrician
Who you choose to be your child’s doctor, matters. I had no idea who or what I was looking for in a doctor. I actually met a doctor in the elevator going to one of my appointments and she gave me her card. I told her I’d go see her after my appointment. Well let’s just say I never went back there. Sweetest lady ever, but just not organized. There were boxes EVERYWHERE, the receptionist may or may not have looked like she had just woken up and I just didn’t have much peace. When I gave birth and was in my recovery room my nurse was asking me about what doctor I had chosen. I told her I didn’t know and quite honestly I didn’t even know how to even do that. She started telling me about 2 doctors in the building and how she just adored them. They serviced her boys and she went on and on. She told about the other doctor and said, she had heard great things about that doctor and believed she was just as great. When the final paperwork came to me, I literally just picked the doctor her boys see. God was looking out for me, because this office had exactly what I wanted…two separate rooms for sick and healthy babies. When I met the doctor she knew exactly what kind of baby Jeremiah was and she told me it’s going to be rough for the first 3 months, but once that passes you’re going to see a shift. IT WILL GET EASIER! She is thorough and gives me more information than I can process. She is always honest with me and challenged me to stretch myself. She gave me reality and helped me make adjustments where I needed to. I’m thankful for Jeremiah’s pediatrician…forever grateful. In some ways she taught me to not be scared of being a mother, to dig my feet in, and be the best I can…for Jeremiah.
5. It May Not Come Natural…It’s Okay.
Stop telling all moms it comes natural. This has been a process for me. Is this a dip a toe in the pool experience? No. This is a dive in and don’t forget to blow your bubbles experience and when you feel like you can’t breath anymore, just float on your back experience. I didn’t get nervous holding Jeremiah. I didn’t get hot and sweaty. When I held other babies, I would get hot and start sweating. It didn’t feel natural. It did however feel natural to hold Jeremiah. Breastfeeding wasn’t natural for me. It stressed me and Jeremiah out. Waking up middle of the night wasn’t natural. Changing a newborn who has no control of their body wasn’t natural. It’s a journey of a lot of awkward new stuff and you do it because you have the most amazing tiny human being in front of you. I remember being so frustrated because nothing felt natural about what I was doing…my bond with him wasn’t even natural. I knew I loved him. I loved everything about him. The little guy I had carried for 9 months was now looking at me eye to eye and I wasn’t sure when it would feel natural. That same baby is now almost 7 months and I can say that cloud has lifted and we have a bond that’s so unique. I love hard and tough and baby boy already knows my heart is for him. I can proudly say, that’s my bud for life.
Don’t let pictures fool you, it’s not easy raising a newborn, infant, toddler, all hold their own challenges. Just as much as Jeremiah smiles, he has his moments. He is a sensitive kid, like his mama. LOL People tell you a lot when your pregnant and even more when you give birth. Babies are a miracle and often times we get flooded with so much information that… well let me speak for myself…I lost sight of what was really important. I allowed information to consume me so much so I forgot to enjoy the small moments. I can’t go back and change things, but what I can do is embrace my now. I’ve learned more than 5 things during motherhood and I’m sure it’s a lifetime of learning and I’m here for it. Jeremiah has taught me so much just by himself. God has shown us so much grace and I believe He has equipped me to do this work. I finally believe in myself and when I see Jeremiah smile, I think well I must be doing something right. I pray this blessed you in some way shape or form.
His Beloved & Jeremiah’s Mama